大学英语俩人幽默对话三分钟

❶ 两人英语幽默对话，三分钟左右！

businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.

So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The businessman replied, "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $15 bucks?"

or...

Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict.
It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days work" he said.

"Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with? Could I help you?"

"Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor, in fact, it's my younger brother.

Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll go him one better. See that pile of lumber by the barn?

I want you to build me a fence - - an 8-foot fence -- so I won't need to see his place or his face anymore."

The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."

The older brother had to go to town, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing, and hammering.

About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all.

It was a bridge -- a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work handrails and all -- and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.
"You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done."

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other's hand. They turned to see

the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder.
"No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother.

"I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but, I have many more bridges to build."

❷ 英语口语对话之大学英语学习的，两个人的对话，3分钟左右。。。急！！！

去英孚网找，很多的

❸ 2人3分钟的大学英语对话

给个提纲你吧,这样也不叫容易记住
Advantages: 1. practise yourselfe: adapt to the society more quickly after granation
2. get some money: 1. don't need to get lots of money from your parents, you don't have to depend on your parents so much; 2. you can use the money to buy the things you want, for example, your favourite book.
3. know that your parents' effort: know that to get money is not an easy job, so that you may understand your parents' hard working
4. know that you should not use money without cnsideration
Potential problems: 1. it may influence your study
2. you're lack of experience so you may be cheated by others
希望能帮助你~

❹ 英语搞笑小对话（3分钟，两个人的）快～～

Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking.
老师正在讲课，彼得打起瞌睡来了。

Teacher: Peter！Tell us, what's the biggest in the world?

老师：彼得！你说说，世界上什回么最大？答

Peter: Well, well....eyelids....

彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮……

Teacher: What？Eyelids？

老师：什么？眼皮？

Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world.

彼得：是的，老师。因为我眼睛一闭，眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了。

❺ 求一篇二人对话的英语短对话,带点幽默的，2~3分钟，谢谢~

Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm
Once upon a time there was a clever, wily peasant, whose tricks could be much talked about. The best story, however, is how he once got the best of the devil and made a fool of him. One day the peasant had been working in his field, and just as it was getting dark he was getting ready to go home when in the middle of his field he saw a pile of burning coals. Filled with amazement he walked toward it, and sitting on the top of the glowing coals there was a little black devil.
"You must be sitting on a treasure," said the peasant.
"Yes indeed," replied the devil, "on a treasure that contains more gold and silver than you have ever seen in your life."
"The treasure is in my field and belongs to me," said the peasant.
"It is yours," answered the devil, "if for two years you will give me one half of everything your field proces. I have enough money, but I have a desire for the fruits of the earth."
The peasant entered into the bargain, saying, "To prevent any dispute from arising about the division, everything above the ground shall belong to you, and everything beneath the ground to me."
The devil was quite satisfied with that, but the cunning peasant had planted turnips.
Now when harvest time came the devil appeared and wanted to take away his crop, but he found nothing except the yellow withered leaves, and the happy peasant g up his turnips.
"You got the best of me this time," said the devil, "but it won't happen again. Next time what grows above ground shall be yours, and what is under it shall be mine."
"That is all right with me," answered the peasant. When planting time came the peasant did not plant turnips again, but wheat. The crop ripened, and the peasant went into the field and cut the full stalks off at ground level. When the devil came he found nothing but the stubble, and he angrily disappeared into a chasm in a cliff.
"That's the way one has to deal with foxes," said the peasant, then carried away the treasure.

从前有位远见卓识、机智聪明的农夫，有关他足智多谋的故事至今人们仍广为传颂。其中最精彩的要首推他曾经怎样捉弄魔鬼的故事。
一天，农夫在田间劳动了一整天，天黑时正准备回家，忽然发现自己的田里有堆煤在燃烧，他惊讶万分，於是便走上前去看，发现竟有一个黑色的小魔鬼走在燃烧的煤堆上。"你是坐在财宝上吗？"农夫问。"正是财宝。"魔鬼答道，"而且比你一生见到的都要多呢！""财宝在我田里就得归我。"农夫说道。"就归你吧！"魔鬼说，"只要你肯将两年内一半的收成给我就行了。钱，我有的是，但我更喜欢地上的果实。"农夫答应了这桩交易，并说："为了避免在我们分配时出现纠纷，凡泥土上的东西归你，泥土下的归我。"魔鬼感到心满意足，但这位聪明的农夫却种上了萝卜.
现在收获的季节到了，魔鬼又来了，要求收回属於他的收成。但除了那些枯黄的败叶外，他一无所获；而农夫却在兴高采烈地挖着他的萝卜."这次让你占了便宜，"魔鬼说，"下次可不能这样。地上的归你，地下的归我。""悉听尊便。"农夫答道。播种的季节又到了，这次他可不播萝卜，而是种上了小麦。麦子熟了，他来到田间，把麦秆齐根割倒在地。魔鬼又来了，见到除了残茬外，他又一无所获，气得转身就走，顺着石缝钻了进去。"我就是这样骗倒魔鬼的。"农夫说完，赶紧拾起财宝回家去了。

❻ 求英语2人幽默对话~3分钟左右的~要搞笑点的····

男: This seat empty?（这个座位是空的吧？）女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的

❼ 英语幽默对话，2-3分钟左右的

新概念里好多

❽ 高分求 大学英语口语测试二人对话 3分钟

口语对话
1 赶时髦(go after fashion)
A: Fashion show is around the corner, I’m so excited! 时装表演即将来临，我很兴奋！
B: Are there any good!这有什么好的！
A: I didn't see anything wrong with the clothes; they looked pretty nice to me. I think you don’t like it! Why?我没看出衣服有任何问题；在我看来它们都很不错。我觉得你不喜欢！为什么？
B: It was mb. I think it's stupid for women to wear clothes like that. 这是愚蠢的。我认为女人们穿成那样是很愚蠢的。
A: The benevolent see benevolence and the wise see wisdom. 仁者见仁，智者见智。 B: Do you really think people can wear that stuff and walk around the streets? 你真的认为人们可以穿那种东西走在街上？
A: Yes, I do. At least, some people certainly can. They wear high-fashion clothes to show off their sense of style and wealth. 是的，我这样认为。至少，有人一定会。他们穿着时尚的衣服展示他们的时尚感和财富。
B: Well. I still think they're mb. It makes more sense to spend the money on more practical purposes.我仍然认为他们是愚蠢的。把更多的钱花在更有意义的地方比较实际。
A: So you think it's bad if I wear it?所以你认为我穿成这样很不好吗？ B: If you wear it I must speak nice! 如果你穿成这样我一定说它很好看！ A: I know you will say that.我就知道你会这样说。 B: Only you know me!知我者非你莫属
食品安全(food security)
A :the problems of domestic food safety are appearing constantly,And have your heard problem of oranges？ 国内食品安全问题不断显现，你听说过问题橘子吗？
B:Really?真的？
A:There are fresh citrus maggots. County on a buried 2500 kilos, and several provinces nationwide have. 有新鲜的柑橘生了蛆虫。县里埋了2500公斤，全国好几个省都有这种状况。
B: How terrible.Now the domestic food security is really bad. 多么可怕。现在国内食品安全是非常糟糕的。
A: U.S.do better in this piont. 在这一点上美国做的更好。
B:Ah, which the United States did manage very well. What is their experience? 啊，美国确实做的很好。他们有什么经验？
A: the right OF FDA in the United States is power,and Very strict law enforcement. 在美国，食品药物管理局的权利非常大，而且执法非常严格。 B:is there more success experience?有更多的成功经验吗？
A:It's a fairly standard market, no hawker stalls and food in the supermarket, food into the supermarket to go through inspection, so the food will not get home as domestic so fresh. 要有一个相当标准的市场，没有小贩的摊档和食品在超市，食品经过超市的检查，这样只要食物不是很新鲜就不会被带回家 B：How should people buy safe food?你认为人们该如何购买安全食品？ A：When we choose food, we must remember to check its tag, confirming whether the basic information is marked on it, including ingredients, procer, shelf life and particularly date of manufacture. 选择食品时，我们一定要记住查看标签，确认上

面是否标注基本信息，包括配料、生产厂家、保质期，尤其是生产日期。 B：Why does food contamination occur frequently these days?为什么食品污染问题现在频繁发生？
A：Because the food manufactures are so obsessed with making money that they lose the business ethics. They no longer take food safety as their priority.因为食品生产者惟利是图，丧失了商业道德。他们不再把食品安全当作首要问题
饮食与健康（food and healthy）
A：Health is very important for our body.And healthy foods plays a very important role in it.So,what do you think is a healthy diet?健康对于我们的身体是十分重要的。而且健康的食物在这里扮演了一个十分重要的角色。所以，你认为什么是健康的饮食？
B：A healthy diet should contain all the essential nutrients.健康的饮食应包含所有必需的营养物质。
A：How could people eliminate food contamination nowadays?现在人们怎样才能杜绝食品污染事件？
B：The government should set strict rules and regulations to standardize the proction of food and punish severely those violators.政府应制定严格的规章制度来规范食品生产，并且严惩违法者。
A：Why does food contamination occur frequently these days?为什么食品污染问题现在频繁发生？
B：Because the food manufactures are so obsessed with making money that they lose the business ethics. They no longer take food safety as their priority.因为食品生产者惟利是图，丧失了商业道德。他们不再把食品安全当作首要问题。

A：Why do many people suffer from heart disease recently?最近为什么很多人患上了心脏病？
B：I suppose it is because the improved living conditions provide people with more refined grain and meat. Consequently, people have an excessive amount of fat which leads to heart disease.我认为这是由于生活条件改善，人们有了更多细粮和肉类。结果就摄入了过量的脂肪，从而引起了心脏病。 A：What’s your eating habit?你有什么饮食习惯？
B：I have a balanced diet and I always have meals in a regular way.我饮食均衡，而且吃饭有规律。
A：How do you keep fit?你怎样保持健康？
B：I am not particular about food and I often do exercise as long as I have free time.我不挑食，而且一有时间就会运动。
A：Do you have fast food very often?你经常吃快餐吗？
B：No, I seldom eat fast food because it’s rich in fat. And I want to keep a slender shape.不，我几乎不吃快餐，因为它含有很多脂肪。而我想保持苗条的体形。 A：What are the advantages of transgenic food?转基因食品有什么优点？ B：Transgenic technology can increase the yield of the crops and give the crops such attributes as insect-resistance or drought-resistance.转基因技术可以提高农作物的产量，使它们具有抗病虫、耐干旱等特性。
A：What do you think of instant noodles? 你认为方便面怎么样？
B：On the one hand, it is easy to prepare and thus brings convenience to our busy life. On the other hand, it is harmful to our health since it contains preservatives.一方面，方便面易于准备，因此给我们忙碌的生活带来了便利。另一方面，由于它含有防腐剂，所以对健康有害
3选一 不谢！

❾ 求一个英语三分钟两人对话，最好幽默有趣，不要太简单

A Nice to see you here.
B Nice to see you too.
A Umm,its the first time we meet.So im wondering how should i call
B Just call me Nick is Ok.Then what about you?
A My name is Jenny
B Thats a good name.It sounds that you are from California,right?
A Exactly
B Well,Im from Los Angeles.
A Thats really a beautiful city,I think.
B HmmIn fact,its not so that good.I think the only thing it delights me is its well-served modern service.
A Seems that know your city very well.
B Yeah.Because my great hobby is just walking around the city and feel the things around.
A Sounds like a good hobby.I just like to stay in home and read my favorite novel.
B You just spend your spare time reading books?
A Of course ,its my hobby.
B Well, in my spare time,i would prefer to go somewhere beautiful and take a walk.
A Thats good for health. By the way,why you study English?
B its necessary for me to study further.Though i can speak it,but i cant well understand it.
A I think i just learn English because my parents force me to