適合小學生的英語笑話要短

① 有哪些英語笑話，要簡短，適合五年級學生。

Lessons
"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always asking for things and her father was not very pleased.
"You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, then dancing, then swimming. Now it's the violin.
"I'll play every day, Daddy." Sarah said. "I'll try very hard.
"All right," her father said. "This is what I'll do. I'll pay for you to have lessons for six weeks. At the end of six weeks you must play something for me. If you play well, you can have more lessons. If you play badly, I will stop the lessons."
"0. K. Daddy," Sarah said. "That is fair.
He soon found a good violin teacher and Sarah began her lessons. The teacher was very expensive, but her father kept his promise.
The six weeks passed quickly. The time came for Sarah to play for her father.
She went to the living room and said, "I'm ready to play for you, Daddy.
"Fine, Sarah," her father said. "Begin.
She began to play. She played very badly. She made a terrible noise.
Her father had one of his friends with him, and the friend put his hands over his ears.
When Sarah finished, her father said, "Well done, Sarah. You can have more lessons."
Sarah ran happily out of the room. Her father's friend turned to him. "You've spent a lot of money, but she still plays very badly. he said.
"Well, that's true," her father said. "But since she started learning the violin I've been able to buy five apartments in this build very cheaply. In another six weeks I'll own the whole building!"

小提琴課
「爸爸，我能學拉小提琴嗎？」小莎拉問她的父親。她總是要東西，因此她爸爸很不高興。
「你花了我很多錢，莎拉，」他說，「開始你想學騎馬，然後想學跳舞，然後是游泳。現在又想學拉小提琴。」
「我會每天都拉的，爸爸，」莎拉說，「我會認真練的。」
「好吧，」她爸爸說。「下面是我要做的：我會為你付六個星期的小提琴課的錢，六個星期後你必須拉首曲子給我聽。如果你拉得很好，你可以繼續上小提琴課，要是你拉得很差，你就不要再學了。」
「行。爸爸，」莎拉說，「這很公平。」
他很快就找到了一個好的小提琴老師，莎拉就開始學拉提琴了。盡管學費很高，但她爸爸遵守了諾言。
六個星期很快就過去了。該莎拉拉提琴給爸爸聽了。
她走進起居室說：「我准備好拉提琴給你聽了。」
「好哇，莎拉，」她爸爸說。「開始吧。」
她開始拉了。她拉得很差，發出了可怕的嗓音。她爸爸身旁有位朋友，朋友用手捂著耳朵。
莎拉拉完一曲，她父親說：「拉得好，莎拉。你可以繼續學琴了。」
莎拉高興地跑出門去。她父親的朋友對他說：「你已經花了不少錢了，但她還是拉得很差。」
「噢，的確如此，」她爸爸說，「但自從她開始學小提琴，我就可以很便宜地買下這幢樓的五個公寓。再過六周，我就可以擁有整幢樓啦！」
希望採納！

② 一分鍾能讀完的英語小笑話（要短，小學三年級適合）

A gentleman was invited for dinner. When he hurried there and sat down, he was happy to see a roast pig in front of his seat:"Not bad, I am next to the pig."

But then he noticed the angry fat lady sitting next to him. He faked a smile and added: "Oh I am sorry, I meant the roasted one on the table."

一位先生去赴宴遲到了，匆忙入座後，發現自己的座位正對著乳豬，於是大為高版興的說：權「還不錯，我坐在乳豬的旁邊。」這時才發現身旁的一位胖女士正怒目相視，他忙陪笑改口到：「對不起，我說的是那隻烤好的。」

③ 小學生適合的英語故事、笑話，短一些，最好有翻譯！

http://www.dbpower.cn/

④ 求一些六年級小學生易懂的英語小笑話，要短一點

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一個大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。

-- 他真是一個大人物。干什麼的？版

-- 墓地守墓人。

A three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl's hand and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "can you get me for the future?" The little boy said: "of course can, we're not one or two years old!"

一個三歲權小男孩拉著一個三歲小女孩的手說：「我愛你。」小女孩說：「你能為我的未來負責嗎？」小男孩說：「當然能，我們都不是一兩歲的人了！

⑤ 求最簡短的英語笑話，要最短最短 最好小學水平的。幾句話的！！！！！

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.

媽媽：你為什麼不停地跳上跳下的？
湯姆：我剛吃完葯，可我忘了先搖動瓶子了

Mr. Johnson: Are you using you mower this afternoon?
Mr.Smith: Yes.
Mr.Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it?
約翰遜先生：今天下午你准備用割草機嗎？
史密斯先生：是的。
約翰遜先生：太好了。既然您不用網球拍，那我可以借用一下嗎？

調查員：What is your father』s name?
小弟：Happy
調查員：What is your mother』s name?
小弟：Smile
調查員：Are you joking?
小弟：No that』s my sister。I am kidding.

你覺得怎樣 ？

⑥ 適合小學生閱讀的英語小笑話要帶翻譯

1.Returning from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. "Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?"

"Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win," my husband hedged. "We just play to have fun."

Undaunted, Sare said, "Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?"

丈夫打完高爾夫球回來，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。「爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔？」

「我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，」丈夫推諉說。「我們打球只是為了開心而已。」

莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：「那麼，爸爸，誰玩的更開心呢？」
2.A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."

Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.

"That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."

一個男孩放學回家時，覺得肚子痛。「來，坐下，吃點點心，」媽媽說，「你肚子痛是因為肚子是空的。吃點東西就會好的。」

一會兒，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，說是頭痛。

「你頭痛是因為你的腦袋是空的，」他那聰明的兒子說，「裡面裝點東西，就會好的。」
3.A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.

Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.

Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"

一位年輕的母親認為，世界上還有許多受飢餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑麵包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬塗在麵包上。

母親看了女兒幾秒鍾，隨即說道，「露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃麵包加黃油，或者麵包加果醬，從來沒有麵包既加黃油又加果醬。」

露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然後她柔聲說：「您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎？」

⑦ 小學三年級英語笑話，越簡單越好。（要好笑的）

1. A boy swore to a girl: 'Honey, do please marry me, otherwise I'll die'
The girl refused. Sixty years later, the boy died.
一男生向一女生發誓：親愛的，請你一定要嫁給我，不然我會死掉的
女孩拒絕了。六十年後，那個男生死掉了。

2. Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost（路牌，路標） says, 'School -- Go Slow'
老師：約翰，為什麼你每天早上都遲到呢？
約翰：每次我走到街角的時候，都有一塊路牌寫著：「學校-小心慢行」

3. Teacher: Tom, why are you so late for school tdoay? And where is your homework book?
Tom: Sorry, Miss. I met a robber on my way to school this morning...
Teachse: Oh, My Gosh! So terrible! Did he robber anything from you?
Tom: He...he robbed my homework book....
老師：湯姆，你今天為什麼遲到這么久？還有你的家庭作業本呢？
湯姆：對不起，老師，我今天在上學的路上遇上了一個搶劫犯……
老師：噢，天哪！太糟糕了！他搶了你什麼東西沒有？
湯姆：他……他搶走了我的家庭作業本……

⑧ 英語小笑話，越短越好，帶翻譯

1、Goldfish金魚
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎麼辦？
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛！
2、 The Revenge 欺騙的代價
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"
老農約翰遜就要死了。他的家人都站在床邊。他聲音低沉地對妻子說：「我死後，我想你嫁給農夫瓊斯。」 妻子說：「不，在你死後，我不能嫁給任何人。」 約翰遜：「但我希望你這么做。」 妻子：「為什麼？」 約翰遜：「因為瓊斯曾在一筆販馬的交易中欺騙了我。」
3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一隻雞
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病醫師：你哪裡不舒服？
病人：我認為我是一隻雞。
精神病醫師：這種情況從什麼時候開始的？
病人：從我還是一隻蛋的時候開始。

4、How do I get the gum out我怎麼把口香糖取出來
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"
當空中小姐給乘客們發口香糖的時候，她解釋說口香糖有助於他們防止耳鳴。飛機著陸後，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說道：「 我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎麼才能把口香糖從耳朵裡面取出來呢？」
5、 Where Am I 我在哪兒
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."
一個英國人在鄉下開車時迷了路，他看見一個農民正在附近的地里幹活。於是他就把車開過去問那位農民：「勞駕，您能告訴我我現在這是在哪兒嗎？」 「可以。」農夫奇怪地看了看他，然後說道：「你現在在你的車子里，先生。」
6、Chiefis at the wedding 長官在婚禮上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."
"But ,officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."
"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."

大街上的一個超速駕駛者被警察攔住了。「但是警官」這個人說道，「我可以解釋的」。「保持安靜」，警察突然說道。「我將把你送往監獄，直到長官回來。「但是，警察，我，，，」。「我說過了保持安靜，你要到監獄了。」幾小時後，警察向監獄里看了看說道「算你運氣好，因為我們的長官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他將帶著一個愉快的心情回來的。」 「你確定」在牢房裡的這個人說道。「我就是新郎呀」。
7、Who Is the Laziest 誰最懶
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現在我想問你個問題。你們班上誰最懶？湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。父親：啊，不對，你知道！想想看，當別的孩子們都在做作業、寫字時，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課？湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。
8、TwoBirds 兩只鳥
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now whocan tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow.
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一隻是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老師：請說說看。學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

⑨ 適合六年級小學生易懂易讀簡短英語小笑話

so fast 別那麼急嘛
A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala(歡慶的) charity event was taking place.
Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.
"Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem1 ham and eggs?"
"Not so fast," said the pig testily2. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."
一隻豬和一隻雞路過一所教堂，那裡有一場盛大慈善活動正在進行著。
在精神上收到觸動的豬向小雞提出建議：他們每個人作出點自己的貢獻。
「好主意!」雞尖叫道，「讓我們給腿和雞蛋吧?」
「著什麼急」豬不耐煩地說，「對你來說，是一個貢獻，對我來說，這是一個完全的獻身。」
The boy and the snails 男孩和蝸牛
A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they graally withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"
一個鄉下少年到處尋找蝸牛，當他雙手都塞滿了蝸牛後，就准備點火烤著吃。火點著了，蝸牛也開始感覺到熱了，他們紛紛退向堅殼的深處，同時還發出「噝噝」的噪音。男孩子聽到了蝸牛發出的噓聲，便說：「你們這些連命都快沒有的傢伙，怎麼還能有心情在窩里著火時吹口哨呢?」
Don't Argue with Children 不要和小孩爭論
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
一個小女孩和她的老師正在談論有關鯨魚的事情。
她的老師說：「一頭鯨魚從身體構造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個人的。因為盡管鯨魚是一種非常巨大的哺乳動物，可它的嗓子非常小。」
那個小女孩說約拿(一位西伯來先知)就是被鯨魚吞掉的。
她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說：「從身體構造角度來講，鯨魚是不可能吞掉一個人的。」
那個小女孩說：「那等我到了天堂，就去問問約拿。」
她的老師問：「那麼，假如約拿下了地獄怎麼辦?」
那個小女孩回答：「如果是那樣的話，你就去問他。」

⑩ 小學水平的簡短英語小笑話

Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師:為什麼你每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,僦看見一個牌子仩寫著"學校----慢行".

.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'

這里想對將要退休者提一點忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，千萬別進退休社區。因為那裡人人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。每當要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，「讓小的干吧。」

2.Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?

Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.

Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?

Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.

媽媽：弗雷迪，你的臉為什麼那麼紅？

弗雷迪：我剛才在大街上跑，為的是阻止一次打架？

媽媽：你做的對，誰和誰在打架。

弗雷迪：我和傑克·史密斯。