大學英語倆人幽默對話三分鍾

❶ 兩人英語幽默對話，三分鍾左右！

businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.

So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The businessman replied, "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $15 bucks?"

or...

Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict.
It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days work" he said.

"Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with? Could I help you?"

"Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor, in fact, it's my younger brother.

Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll go him one better. See that pile of lumber by the barn?

I want you to build me a fence - - an 8-foot fence -- so I won't need to see his place or his face anymore."

The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."

The older brother had to go to town, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing, and hammering.

About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all.

It was a bridge -- a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work handrails and all -- and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.
"You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done."

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other's hand. They turned to see

the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder.
"No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother.

"I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but, I have many more bridges to build."

❷ 英語口語對話之大學英語學習的，兩個人的對話，3分鍾左右。。。急！！！

去英孚網找，很多的

❸ 2人3分鍾的大學英語對話

給個提綱你吧,這樣也不叫容易記住
Advantages: 1. practise yourselfe: adapt to the society more quickly after granation
2. get some money: 1. don't need to get lots of money from your parents, you don't have to depend on your parents so much; 2. you can use the money to buy the things you want, for example, your favourite book.
3. know that your parents' effort: know that to get money is not an easy job, so that you may understand your parents' hard working
4. know that you should not use money without cnsideration
Potential problems: 1. it may influence your study
2. you're lack of experience so you may be cheated by others
希望能幫助你~

❹ 英語搞笑小對話（3分鍾，兩個人的）快～～

Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking.
老師正在講課，彼得打起瞌睡來了。

Teacher: Peter！Tell us, what's the biggest in the world?

老師：彼得！你說說，世界上什回么最大？答

Peter: Well, well....eyelids....

彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮……

Teacher: What？Eyelids？

老師：什麼？眼皮？

Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world.

彼得：是的，老師。因為我眼睛一閉，眼皮就把世界上所有的東西都遮住了。

❺ 求一篇二人對話的英語短對話,帶點幽默的，2~3分鍾，謝謝~

Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm
Once upon a time there was a clever, wily peasant, whose tricks could be much talked about. The best story, however, is how he once got the best of the devil and made a fool of him. One day the peasant had been working in his field, and just as it was getting dark he was getting ready to go home when in the middle of his field he saw a pile of burning coals. Filled with amazement he walked toward it, and sitting on the top of the glowing coals there was a little black devil.
"You must be sitting on a treasure," said the peasant.
"Yes indeed," replied the devil, "on a treasure that contains more gold and silver than you have ever seen in your life."
"The treasure is in my field and belongs to me," said the peasant.
"It is yours," answered the devil, "if for two years you will give me one half of everything your field proces. I have enough money, but I have a desire for the fruits of the earth."
The peasant entered into the bargain, saying, "To prevent any dispute from arising about the division, everything above the ground shall belong to you, and everything beneath the ground to me."
The devil was quite satisfied with that, but the cunning peasant had planted turnips.
Now when harvest time came the devil appeared and wanted to take away his crop, but he found nothing except the yellow withered leaves, and the happy peasant g up his turnips.
"You got the best of me this time," said the devil, "but it won't happen again. Next time what grows above ground shall be yours, and what is under it shall be mine."
"That is all right with me," answered the peasant. When planting time came the peasant did not plant turnips again, but wheat. The crop ripened, and the peasant went into the field and cut the full stalks off at ground level. When the devil came he found nothing but the stubble, and he angrily disappeared into a chasm in a cliff.
"That's the way one has to deal with foxes," said the peasant, then carried away the treasure.

從前有位遠見卓識、機智聰明的農夫，有關他足智多謀的故事至今人們仍廣為傳頌。其中最精彩的要首推他曾經怎樣捉弄魔鬼的故事。
一天，農夫在田間勞動了一整天，天黑時正准備回家，忽然發現自己的田裡有堆煤在燃燒，他驚訝萬分，於是便走上前去看，發現竟有一個黑色的小魔鬼走在燃燒的煤堆上。"你是坐在財寶上嗎？"農夫問。"正是財寶。"魔鬼答道，"而且比你一生見到的都要多呢！""財寶在我田裡就得歸我。"農夫說道。"就歸你吧！"魔鬼說，"只要你肯將兩年內一半的收成給我就行了。錢，我有的是，但我更喜歡地上的果實。"農夫答應了這樁交易，並說："為了避免在我們分配時出現糾紛，凡泥土上的東西歸你，泥土下的歸我。"魔鬼感到心滿意足，但這位聰明的農夫卻種上了蘿卜.
現在收獲的季節到了，魔鬼又來了，要求收回屬於他的收成。但除了那些枯黃的敗葉外，他一無所獲；而農夫卻在興高采烈地挖著他的蘿卜."這次讓你佔了便宜，"魔鬼說，"下次可不能這樣。地上的歸你，地下的歸我。""悉聽尊便。"農夫答道。播種的季節又到了，這次他可不播蘿卜，而是種上了小麥。麥子熟了，他來到田間，把麥稈齊根割倒在地。魔鬼又來了，見到除了殘茬外，他又一無所獲，氣得轉身就走，順著石縫鑽了進去。"我就是這樣騙倒魔鬼的。"農夫說完，趕緊拾起財寶回家去了。

❻ 求英語2人幽默對話~3分鍾左右的~要搞笑點的····

男: This seat empty?（這個座位是空的吧？）女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的

❼ 英語幽默對話，2-3分鍾左右的

新概念里好多

❽ 高分求 大學英語口語測試二人對話 3分鍾

口語對話
1 趕時髦(go after fashion)
A: Fashion show is around the corner, I』m so excited! 時裝表演即將來臨，我很興奮！
B: Are there any good!這有什麼好的！
A: I didn't see anything wrong with the clothes; they looked pretty nice to me. I think you don』t like it! Why?我沒看出衣服有任何問題；在我看來它們都很不錯。我覺得你不喜歡！為什麼？
B: It was mb. I think it's stupid for women to wear clothes like that. 這是愚蠢的。我認為女人們穿成那樣是很愚蠢的。
A: The benevolent see benevolence and the wise see wisdom. 仁者見仁，智者見智。 B: Do you really think people can wear that stuff and walk around the streets? 你真的認為人們可以穿那種東西走在街上？
A: Yes, I do. At least, some people certainly can. They wear high-fashion clothes to show off their sense of style and wealth. 是的，我這樣認為。至少，有人一定會。他們穿著時尚的衣服展示他們的時尚感和財富。
B: Well. I still think they're mb. It makes more sense to spend the money on more practical purposes.我仍然認為他們是愚蠢的。把更多的錢花在更有意義的地方比較實際。
A: So you think it's bad if I wear it?所以你認為我穿成這樣很不好嗎？ B: If you wear it I must speak nice! 如果你穿成這樣我一定說它很好看！ A: I know you will say that.我就知道你會這樣說。 B: Only you know me!知我者非你莫屬
食品安全(food security)
A :the problems of domestic food safety are appearing constantly,And have your heard problem of oranges？ 國內食品安全問題不斷顯現，你聽說過問題橘子嗎？
B:Really?真的？
A:There are fresh citrus maggots. County on a buried 2500 kilos, and several provinces nationwide have. 有新鮮的柑橘生了蛆蟲。縣里埋了2500公斤，全國好幾個省都有這種狀況。
B: How terrible.Now the domestic food security is really bad. 多麼可怕。現在國內食品安全是非常糟糕的。
A: U.S.do better in this piont. 在這一點上美國做的更好。
B:Ah, which the United States did manage very well. What is their experience? 啊，美國確實做的很好。他們有什麼經驗？
A: the right OF FDA in the United States is power,and Very strict law enforcement. 在美國，食品葯物管理局的權利非常大，而且執法非常嚴格。 B:is there more success experience?有更多的成功經驗嗎？
A:It's a fairly standard market, no hawker stalls and food in the supermarket, food into the supermarket to go through inspection, so the food will not get home as domestic so fresh. 要有一個相當標準的市場，沒有小販的攤檔和食品在超市，食品經過超市的檢查，這樣只要食物不是很新鮮就不會被帶回家 B：How should people buy safe food?你認為人們該如何購買安全食品？ A：When we choose food, we must remember to check its tag, confirming whether the basic information is marked on it, including ingredients, procer, shelf life and particularly date of manufacture. 選擇食品時，我們一定要記住查看標簽，確認上

面是否標注基本信息，包括配料、生產廠家、保質期，尤其是生產日期。 B：Why does food contamination occur frequently these days?為什麼食品污染問題現在頻繁發生？
A：Because the food manufactures are so obsessed with making money that they lose the business ethics. They no longer take food safety as their priority.因為食品生產者惟利是圖，喪失了商業道德。他們不再把食品安全當作首要問題
飲食與健康（food and healthy）
A：Health is very important for our body.And healthy foods plays a very important role in it.So,what do you think is a healthy diet?健康對於我們的身體是十分重要的。而且健康的食物在這里扮演了一個十分重要的角色。所以，你認為什麼是健康的飲食？
B：A healthy diet should contain all the essential nutrients.健康的飲食應包含所有必需的營養物質。
A：How could people eliminate food contamination nowadays?現在人們怎樣才能杜絕食品污染事件？
B：The government should set strict rules and regulations to standardize the proction of food and punish severely those violators.政府應制定嚴格的規章制度來規范食品生產，並且嚴懲違法者。
A：Why does food contamination occur frequently these days?為什麼食品污染問題現在頻繁發生？
B：Because the food manufactures are so obsessed with making money that they lose the business ethics. They no longer take food safety as their priority.因為食品生產者惟利是圖，喪失了商業道德。他們不再把食品安全當作首要問題。

A：Why do many people suffer from heart disease recently?最近為什麼很多人患上了心臟病？
B：I suppose it is because the improved living conditions provide people with more refined grain and meat. Consequently, people have an excessive amount of fat which leads to heart disease.我認為這是由於生活條件改善，人們有了更多細糧和肉類。結果就攝入了過量的脂肪，從而引起了心臟病。 A：What』s your eating habit?你有什麼飲食習慣？
B：I have a balanced diet and I always have meals in a regular way.我飲食均衡，而且吃飯有規律。
A：How do you keep fit?你怎樣保持健康？
B：I am not particular about food and I often do exercise as long as I have free time.我不挑食，而且一有時間就會運動。
A：Do you have fast food very often?你經常吃快餐嗎？
B：No, I seldom eat fast food because it』s rich in fat. And I want to keep a slender shape.不，我幾乎不吃快餐，因為它含有很多脂肪。而我想保持苗條的體形。 A：What are the advantages of transgenic food?轉基因食品有什麼優點？ B：Transgenic technology can increase the yield of the crops and give the crops such attributes as insect-resistance or drought-resistance.轉基因技術可以提高農作物的產量，使它們具有抗病蟲、耐乾旱等特性。
A：What do you think of instant noodles? 你認為方便麵怎麼樣？
B：On the one hand, it is easy to prepare and thus brings convenience to our busy life. On the other hand, it is harmful to our health since it contains preservatives.一方面，方便麵易於准備，因此給我們忙碌的生活帶來了便利。另一方面，由於它含有防腐劑，所以對健康有害
3選一 不謝！

❾ 求一個英語三分鍾兩人對話，最好幽默有趣，不要太簡單

A Nice to see you here.
B Nice to see you too.
A Umm,its the first time we meet.So im wondering how should i call
B Just call me Nick is Ok.Then what about you?
A My name is Jenny
B Thats a good name.It sounds that you are from California,right?
A Exactly
B Well,Im from Los Angeles.
A Thats really a beautiful city,I think.
B HmmIn fact,its not so that good.I think the only thing it delights me is its well-served modern service.
A Seems that know your city very well.
B Yeah.Because my great hobby is just walking around the city and feel the things around.
A Sounds like a good hobby.I just like to stay in home and read my favorite novel.
B You just spend your spare time reading books?
A Of course ,its my hobby.
B Well, in my spare time,i would prefer to go somewhere beautiful and take a walk.
A Thats good for health. By the way,why you study English?
B its necessary for me to study further.Though i can speak it,but i cant well understand it.
A I think i just learn English because my parents force me to