好笑的英語書
A. 英語幽默搞笑短文
First Flight
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"
"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."
第一次坐飛機
約翰遜先生從前未乘過飛機，他讀過許多關於飛行事故的報道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀請他乘自己的小飛機飛行時，約翰遜先生非常擔心，不敢接受。不過，由於朋友不斷保證說飛行是很安全的，約翰遜先生終於被說服了，登上了飛機。
他的朋友啟動引擎開始在機場跑道上滑行。約翰遜先生聽說飛行中最危險的是起飛與降落，所以他嚇得緊閉雙眼。
過了一兩分鍾，他睜開雙眼朝窗外望去，接著對朋友說道：「看下面那些人，他們看起來就象螞蟻一樣小，是不是？」
「那些就是螞蟻，」他的朋友答道，「我們還在地面上。」
A Nail Or A Fly?
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
釘子還是蒼蠅？
一位視力正在衰退的老紳士住進了一家旅館的客房。他雙手各拿一瓶酒。在牆上有隻蒼蠅，他誤以為是枚釘子。他把兩只瓶子朝上一掛，瓶子掉下來摔碎了，酒灑了一地。一個女服務員發現發生的事情以後，對他深表同情，決定幫他個忙。
於是，第二天早上他到樓頂花園散步時，她把一枚釘子釘在了蒼蠅停過的地方。
這里，老人回到了房裡。倒灑的酒味讓他想起了那件事。他抬頭往牆上一看，蒼蠅又停在了那兒!他輕手輕腳地走近，使盡全力拍了一掌。聽到一聲大叫，好心的女服務員沖進房來。讓她大為吃驚的是，可憐的老頭正坐在地板上，牙關緊咬，右手滴血不止。
Chaude and Cold
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."
"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
熱與冷
蒙特利爾自助餐廳的一位顧客擰開盥洗室的龍頭，結果被水燙傷了。「這太可惡了，」他抱怨道，「標著C的龍頭流出的是開水。」
「可是，先生，C代表Chaude－法語里代表『熱』。如果您居住在蒙特利爾的話就得知道這一點。」
「等等，」那位顧客咆哮一聲，「另外一個龍頭同樣標的是C。」
「當然，」經理說道：「它代表冷。畢竟，蒙特利爾是個雙語城市。」
Imitate Birds
A man tried to get a job in a stage show. "What can you do?" asked the procer.
"Imitate birds," the man said.
"Are you kidding?" answered the procer, "People like that are a dime a dozen."
"Well, I guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.
模仿鳥兒
一個人想在一個舞台劇中找份工作。「你能幹什麼呢？」負責人問。
「模仿鳥兒，」那人說。
「你在開玩笑吧？」負責人答道，「那樣的人一毛錢可以找一打。」
「噢，那就算了。」那名演員說著，展開翅膀，飛出了窗口。
How Did You Ever Get Here
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
你是怎樣來的？
一個冬天的早晨，一名雇員解釋他為什麼遲到了四十五分鍾才起來上班。「外面太滑了，我每向前邁一步，就要向後退兩步。」
老闆狐疑地看著他。「噢，是嗎？那你是怎樣到這里來的？」
「後來我決定放棄，」他說，「然後我就往家裡走。」
Keep the Change
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.
零錢不用找了
在教堂的義賣市上賣舊書時，我與一名准備買東西的顧客發生了一場爭論。他對購買袖珍奧金.納什集頗感興趣，但是說它要三十五美分開價過高。其它的平裝書每本才賣十或十五美分。
我指出這本書保存狀況頗好，納什是個有趣的詩人，這個要價是合理的。他說這是個原則問題。最終，我同意以十五美分的價格將這本書賣給他。他得意洋洋，拿出一張十美元的票子付帳。「零錢不用找了。」他說。
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中間戰術
三個互相爭生意的商店老闆在一條林蔭道上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：「大減價!」「特便宜!」
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：「大砍價!」「大折扣!」
中間的商人隨後准備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：「入口處」。
Best Reward
A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."
最好的獎賞
一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。這位軍官問如何都能酬謝他。
「最好的辦法，長官，」這名水手說，「是別聲張這事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會把我扔下去的。」
A Mistake
An Amercian, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peterexplained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."
"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.
"Where are the others?" asked a medic.
"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was huggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."
搞錯了
一位美國人，一位英格蘭人和一位加拿大人在一場車禍中喪生。他們到達天堂的門口。在那裡，醉醺醺的聖彼德解釋說是搞錯了。「每人給我五百美元，」他說，「我將把你們送回人間，就象什麼都沒有發生過一樣。」
「成交!」美國人說。立刻，他發現自己毫不損傷地站在現場附近。
「其他人在哪兒？」一名醫生問道。
「我離開之前，」那名美國人說，「我看見英格蘭人正在砍價，而那名加拿大人正在分辯說應該由他的政府來出這筆錢。」
Imitation
A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.
"That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."
模 仿
一個男孩放學回家時，覺得肚子痛。「來，坐下，吃點點心，」媽媽說，「你肚子痛是因為肚子是空的。吃點東西就會好的。」
一會兒，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，說是頭痛。
「你頭痛是因為你的腦袋是空的，」他那聰明的兒子說，「裡面裝點東西，就會好的。」
Bedtime Prayers
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said. "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replyed, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"
睡前禱告詞
朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。「上帝，求求你，」她說，「讓那不勒斯成為義大利的首都吧。」
媽媽打斷她的話說：「朱莉葉，為什麼求上帝讓那不勒斯成為義大利的首都呢？」
朱莉葉回答道：「因為我在地理考卷上是這樣寫的。」
A Fine Match
One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
勢均力敵
有一天某位女士看到一隻老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過。她很害怕老鼠，所以她沖出屋子，搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒，她買了一隻老鼠夾。店主告訴她：「放點乳酪在裡面，很快你就會逮住那隻老鼠的。」
這位女士帶著鼠夾回到家裡，但她沒有在碗櫥里找到乳酪。她不想再回到商店裡去，因為已經很晚了。於是，她就從一份雜志中剪下一幅乳酪的圖片放進了夾子。
令人稱奇的是，這畫有乳酪的圖片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，這位女士下樓到廚房時，發現鼠夾里乳酪圖片旁有一張畫有老鼠的圖片!
Class and Ass
Professor Laurie of Glasgow put his notice on his door: "Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today."
A student, after reading the notice, rubbed out the "c".
Later Professor Laurie came along, and entering into the spirit of the joke, rubbed out the "l".
班和笨驢
格拉斯哥的勞里教授在門上貼了這樣一個通知：「勞里教授今天不見他的班級。」
一個學生讀了通知後，擦掉了字母「c」(lass：姑娘)。
後來勞里教授來了，也想開開玩笑，他擦掉了字母「l」(ass：笨驢)。
B. 最幽默的最搞笑的英文小說
A student is learning, rely on to Qian Jin school for students. First entered the school, according to Confucius Temple to pay homage, Confucius from the seat to go down to his bow.Students said:" today is his worship master, you should sit down one."Confucius said:" you are money disciples, not my disciple, I will not be your worship!"
C. 有沒有特別搞笑的英文原版書
小屁孩日記，很搞笑，上周在華研外語買了一套，笑死了
D. 推薦一些背英語單詞的搞笑的書或者出人意料的書吧，謝謝
我明白你說的意思，我也喜歡這么背單詞，我看過兩本書不錯的，推薦你看下試試，一個是單詞王，另一個是奇思妙想記單詞
E. 搞笑英語話劇劇本
搞笑7人劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》
演員表：西門吹雪、葉孤城、花滿樓、king、路人、上官雪兒
旁白
道具：牛奶兩袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，紙屑若干。
第一幕：決戰紫荊城之顛
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y與X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:, Never mind baby.
X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?
Y:,I won』t change my name! no matter what happens. I』m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y驚訝:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don』t kill me! Let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don』t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?
Y突然站起冷冷的說：Don』t force me!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X搶過牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Do you still want to kill me ?
X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(惱怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I』m sure I won』t!
Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don』t beat you this time, you』ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!
X捂著肚子，蹲下（做痛苦狀）：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit
（一人路過，x起身跑過去）
X可憐狀: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye (以勝利者的語氣，轉頭,看見 花滿樓)
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in 「WC」 .
H驚訝:Now you are the best in the world !
Y:You are right !
H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you want.
Y:Yes,It』s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let』s go to see my king!
第二幕：無間道
H:My dearest ! let me introce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?
King:yes,I will.
Y:That』s good. Can you give me a MM ?
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:of course.
美女出場
M:hello，帥鍋..
K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let』s have a ritual.
H走到Y前，《婚禮進行曲》起，H神甫狀:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音樂停）
X唱著上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive you? Why ?
Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I』ll tell you 「 I love you 」 , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady』s 「WC」!
Y:I like going lady』s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milk?I love you.
K:Don』t say that 「you love me」. I』ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !
X:What? (側耳裝著聽不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)
K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂著肚子，蹲下)
M: oh,what happened?（看著X，做驚嚇狀）are you ok?（跑到西門吹雪身邊）
Y :do you want to go to wc?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.
M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
M: actually,I』m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue.
K驚訝: !you—you—You are X』lover?
Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(輕聲說)let me tell you,Xwill die.
M撲倒在X的身邊：X,do』t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !
K:what a moving story ! I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn』t resume !
(M忽然將一把匕首插進Y的心臟，K嚇跑.音樂《再見，警察》起)
Y痛苦狀:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音樂停)
（X咳，H撲到身邊，電影《我的父親母親》原聲音樂起）
M: X , oh , no ,you can』t die ,we will go home together .
X:go home ! ?
M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.
X: promise me,you』ll get on well,and you』ll never let go.
M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,
M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !
—來自於網路
F. 有沒有特別搞笑的英文原版書
《Stone soup》是關於三個士兵，一群村民和一大鍋石頭湯的事情，挺搞笑的，建議可以看看~
G. 書超級搞笑的英語自我介紹一定要搞笑！！！
、作曲家：「為了譜寫這支催眠曲，我花了10年時間。」
出版商：「這怎麼使您花了這么長的時間呢？」
作曲家：「它老是在催我入眠呀！」近來股市火爆，大家都在賺錢，我的一位美女同事卻還在虧錢。
美女同事在我面前抱怨自己沒有財運，我說我的手摸過財神爺，只要你再摸摸我的手就會財來運轉。
美女同事信了，上來握住我的手使勁地摸。
明天，我要是說我用嘴親過財神，不知道會是什麼後果？@才才2011今天和哥們賣香蕉，推在街上見無人問， 我便開玩笑跟哥們說：快喊香蕉便宜賣咯 ，不僅能吃還能用。沒想到這二貨真喊了 。
過來兩個美女問怎麼用。
我兩紅著臉 說：清明節上供用...一室友犯賤，居然想把買來的短褲再拿到商場里換，說想看看商場到底會不會換。
到商場後，售貨員板著臉說不能換，室友問為什麼，售貨員說：穿過的不能換。
室友不承認穿過。
售貨員笑著說：你別逗我了，褲子是純白色的，如果沒穿過，裡面怎麼會有一根黑線頭呢？
我TM無語了。白天，你巴著我走光；晚上，你又盼著我脫光。
你的流氓心態，我早都看得一清二楚，你不就想在我身上檢點便宜嗎？
好吧，本姑娘今晚上就成全你。我已脫得一絲不掛了，就在帳子里躺著，你倒是進來呀？該死的臭蚊子！魯莽與謹慎之間本無高低、好壞之分，因為，兩種性格的人都是這個社會所需要的。要說有區別，那就是往往魯莽者做事在先，而謹慎者做事隨後，而且常常是後者給前者「擦屁股」。比如：
性格魯莽的人發明了偉哥，性格謹慎的人發明了安全帽。
性格魯莽的人發明了矛，性格謹慎的人發明了盾。
性格魯莽的人開啟了探險，性格謹慎的人則創辦了保險。母親：你和他談了也有一段時間了，告訴媽媽，你覺得他這人怎麼樣，和你般配嗎？
女兒：嗯，他在各方面都還不錯。就是脾氣有點兒急，無論幹啥，總是火急火燎的。
母親：脾氣急一點，也不是啥缺點。他這個特徵我知道，從他脫衣服快就看得出！
女兒：……、婚姻是憋足了勁的大氣球， 感情是扎緊氣球的紅絲線， 小三是針頭尖尖的綉花針。
不管氣球有多大，口扎得有多緊，只要挨上了綉花針，它就「嘭」的一聲不再完整！婚後，鳳姐每天晚上都要給老公講一些名人的勵志故事。要麼是諸葛亮，要麼是姜子牙。
老公苦笑著說：「這些人都是些丑老婆，你能不能將一些漂亮老婆的故事？」
鳳姐頓了一下：「要不我給你講講武大或者林沖的故事？老師：小明，你說說古詩《游園不值》的意思。
小明：詩人去公園瞎逛，啥毛都沒有！只有一顆杏樹還他娘的伸到牆外去了，於是感嘆說：「這破公園還要門票！真TMD不值！簡直就是坑爹！」
老師：你···滾出去！
H. 推薦一部校園幽默搞笑系列的小說！（可txt電子書下載的）英文版
《賴上霸王龍》 ★★★★★★★★★ （強力推薦）！！！
是「十字貝」寫的 搞笑的哦 超搞笑 還有一點小感動哦~
哼，就算我的眼鏡再加厚一百層，我也絕對能看清那傢伙的惡劣本質！他不就是長了一副好皮囊、說了一口流利的ABC嘛，就可以勒令我脫校服、「搶」我的腳踏車、用我一個月的零花錢洗一件衣服了？好吧，這些我都認了，可誰能告訴我那個登堂入室、強占我卧室的「家教」為什麼也是他？！看來我的生活是註定要一波未平一波又起嘍……
《見習丘比特》 ★★★★★★★ 搞笑的小冤家
閃開！閃開！有史以來最蹩腳的見習丘比特駕道！所有都靠邊站！第一箭，射中我如日中天的千金生活！第二箭，竟讓我遇見如此暴力惡魔！見習丘比特之慘絕人寰——就連地球也嚇了一跳！上帝啊，求求你讓我屏住呼吸閉上眼睛，就當這一切都沒有發生過！我對天發誓，總有一天，我一定要你乖乖成為我的手下敗將！哼哼，見習丘比特在此，看你還往哪裡跑！
《至高粉絲指令》 ★★★★★★★ 也是「十字貝」寫的哦 好看
古靈精為尋找八歲時的小初戀拼了命考上一所神秘學院，發生了一連串莫名其妙的事件，遇見冷到爆的低氣溫冰雪少年西吻殿下，遇見霸道地認定自己是他專屬物的邪神第五銀，遇見相互之間不合的烏龍三胞胎右帥右拉右酷……
《泡泡出擊》 ★★★★★★★ 搞笑的
為什麼上天還要讓我遇見夜希澤這個王子級別的傢伙？他外表完美，頭腦聰慧。我們是生肖相剋還是八字不和？一見面就唇槍舌戰，大動干戈，而且我還因為他被卷進了好幾宗離奇事件。哼哼！看我宇宙霹靂超級無敵的泡泡出擊！帥哥手到擒來，還怕你跑了不成！
《丘比特的挑戰法則》 ★★★★★★★ 搞笑 好看啊~
伴隨著門「咣」的一聲被踢開，一個天使般溫柔，可愛，動聽（後面暫時省略很多修飾詞）……的聲音降臨：「同志們，我回來啦！」一身藍色休閑裝打扮的瀟灑靚妹粉墨登場…… 當然啦，如此美麗的天使當然就是我--龍伊伊！！！
《我的指環王子》 ★★★★★★★ 男主和女主小時候認識的
神經大條、外表老土的殷雪兒一直是德美高中不被人注意的可憐蟲，但是突然有一天，她卻真的成了校園里人人關注的焦點，這得益於那一個從天而降的水包把她拉入了萬劫不復的「水火王子」大戰。 一邊是火爆囂張的校園明星裴寒，一邊是溫文爾雅的優秀學長姜在宇，而夾在中間的丑小鴨卻突然變成了白天鵝。
《野蠻天使的惡魔寶貝》★★★★★★★ 校花PK校草
近段時間羯兒不太好的心情帶給羯兒的略顯憂郁的神情，更會為她增添了藝術家的氣質和誘惑桃花的魅力，，當有心儀的人兒出現時，羯兒便會真心投入，於是一場風花雪月的愛情故事便開始上演
《小公主的A計劃》 ★★★★★★
「怎麼辦啊？裡面我一個人也不認識，都怪安妮把我弄到這個學校，現在我不敢進去了……」我站在高一一班門口，靠在牆上，害怕地說。
我從小到大膽子一直很小很小，可惡的安妮非要讓我鍛煉鍛煉自己，所以她考到別的高中了。
哇哇哇！！！該上課了，再不進去就真的完了。不管了！！他們又不認識我，我也不認識他們！豁出去了！
《二分之一專屬戀人》 ★★★★★★★ 這篇好好看哦
他和她，青梅竹馬，從小一起成長；他和她，水火不容，每天吵吵鬧鬧；可是——當她遇見危險時，他會像英雄一樣無畏當她遭遇困難時，他會像天才一樣聰慧；當她煩惱嘀咕時，他會像綿羊一樣溫順；當她開心狂歡時，他會像青蛙一樣呱呱亂蹦。新世紀戀人新標准，顛覆你的想像！讓我告訴你，什麼才叫做「完美」！